I recently put my home up for sale. In doing this, I followed the guidance of my realtor and put new carpet, painted a couple of areas, tiled the second bath, power-washed the the house and driveway and hired a maid to clean it thoroughly. I listed it on a Monday. On Tuesday, there were two showings in which one was a return. Wednesday brought an offer. Thursday afternoon we countered their offer. I received an email on Friday morning that they had accepted the offer. The house looks like a model home thanks to the Medley's help!
We took a home that needed some TLC and brought it to a modern look and feel in two weeks! I don't like dwelling too much on the past. There is a good amount of pain here over the last two and half years. Abandonment is difficult to say the least especially with two boys ten years apart from each other. The challenges are there and they are real. As that is a truth in my every day life, I am reminded by the gospel truth of one of my favorite movies, Chicken Little. "Today is a new day."
Today is a new day. The journey starts here today. New choices today. New direction comes from these choices today. With the sale of the home, we move to a new beginning soon. It is a beginning that the boys need and I definitely need.
Divorce is brutal. Add abandonment to the mix and it is truly like an atomic bomb going off in life. I have gone through counseling for a couple of years and have spoken to two other therapists with 30 plus years of experience. All three of them have said the same thing. We have experienced true PTSD emotionally. For those not knowing what that is...Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. No, the boys and I are not about to load up an arsenal and build our own little army and go postal. On the outside, we do really well. On the inside, for the most part now, we function just fine. All three of us experience moments that take us back in time. A time that changed forever in a flash. A moment when one second there was four of us and now...three.
Psychologists call them triggers. It could be a song, a scent, a picture, a place. It jogs the memory and all of a sudden depression, anxiety, stress, and all around loss comes down like a ton of bricks. I can see it on their faces when it hits them. I can sense it when it nails me. We used to have bad weeks and good moments. That transitioned to sad days and good days. As the healing process continues, we have sad moments now and for the most part, good days.
The house is changed, but it is the same house. It has the same memories. No matter how we change it to look different or up-to-date, it is still the same home. There is a direct correlation to ourselves. No matter how much healing we go through, it will not change our experiences. We will still have the scars. We will still have the memories. The triggers will still happen from time to time. This is normal according to all of the experts. Getting a new place will help with these triggers as we move forward. We will be out of the home where "it all happened".
The boys are psyched to have a new place later this year. I am as well. A new beginning. A new place. New memories. New hope. New...well, everything. God is good. Today is a new day. Thank you, Lord. Oh...and thanks, Chicken Little.
My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!
