The Cahill Family Christmas...2015...Building New Memories

The thought that Christmas number three in this house waits in the wings stirs some memories and nostalgia. I looked on my Facebook feed earlier this morning and lo and behold, a message told that I had memories to take a gander upon from years past. Of course I looked! A number of them stuck out to me and made me smile:

Spencer’s first time really helping decorate the tree back in 2008. His face glowed with excitement as he hooked the ornaments up on the branches of the Christmas tree. Fast forward to last night and he still lights up as bright as strands on our current tree when I pull out the ornaments. He loves this time of year. He remembers a lot of the ornaments. This year he set up the little Christmas Village for the first time all by himself. 

Chandler’s 7^th grade play, American Idle, made me chuckle. It blows my mind that this feels like yesterday yet at that the same time looks like so long ago. An incredible reminder to me to not blink too many times. Chalin is in 8^th grade now. He will be in Chandler’s shoes soon studying for finals in college. It all goes so fast.

Christmas at the barn with my sis. She just recently moved her horses from the old and famed Trails End in Kingwood to another barn which has opened so many doors for her when it comes to lessons, riding, and personal time. The memories of Christmas at the Barn though will always remain in a special place in the heart though. My sis went all out by dressing up her horses, hoisting up kiddos to feed carrots to them, and posing for pics with everyone.

Three years ago, the boys and I moved into Ohana. The move stood for something. The sojourn from Bear Branch to the new place marked a new beginning for the three of us. Seeing some pics from 2012 of the view from the second story window with literally brought back the emotions from when we first got here. Filled with the hope of a new beginning, little did I know where these moments would take me. Today, the last home in the neighborhood begins the construction process. The cleared land awaits preparation for workers to start plotting plumbing, cables, and then the inevitable foundation. Once that finishes up, time starts ticking away and in just a few months this last home in the neighborhood will stand and construction will cease in this small location in Kingwood.

On the horizon, the sun’s rising colors invade a darkened sky. New memories anticipated around each corner. My one year old family put up our Christmas Tree last night – minus Chandler as he is in Corpus studying for finals, but we saved some decorations for him – and each person put up some decorations around the house. Terra had a splendid idea. Let the kids put all of the decorations out wherever they wanted, so that we start making it completely new. She’s such a blessing and wonderful bride.

I look forward to the future when I get to look on the timeline of memories, whether it is Facebook or sitting and looking at pictures on the Mac, and seeing these pictures of the tree and remembering the feeling of Chalin helping with the lights. Spencer creating the village, and Terra putting some ornaments on the tree. The banister awaits Chandler’s touch when he arrives from Corpus. It’s his specialty.  

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Blended - "They're blendiiiing..."

Terra and I watched a funny movie this summer as we were going through what we termed "pre-engagement" counseling. I didn't want the pressure of a ring and an engagement as we dealt talked about challenges, baggage, etc etc etc.

Okay I'll admit it. I'm an Adam Sandler fan. Happy Gilmore still brings out belly laughs to this day. When I heard a new movie hit theaters with him and Drew Barrymore, Terra and I decided to go because it looked like something right up our alley and might even hit on some things that we were about to experience as well. Needless to say, if you have not seen the movie Blended, put it on your list. It's not only funny, but heartwarming.

We laughed throughout the flick. Sure it was over-the-top. What Adam Sandler movie isn't?! It was refreshing to see a good dad and a good mom from differing backgrounds come together and make it work despite the challenges. Yes, it ended with the Hollywood "happily ever after". What else would anyone expect? You can see it coming and, in this case, I applauded it.

In all my years, I never thought I would have a blended family. Like my tagline states, I "thought" my life was headed in one direction. Life doesn't always work out the way we intend it to nor does our big picture turn out to be our picture. Sometimes, we end up on a different canvas altogether. This is my story. Now, the dad to three boys (9, 13 and 18) and husband to a woman who compliments me in ways that I never conceived. Who would ever have thought that a dorky goofball like me who has had crazy dreams of voice-over acting, stage acting, and racing in the Tour (need Steve Austin's 6 million dollar man legs for that now with my knees!) would marry a woman with a PhD in Chemistry who is literally one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life. Cool? For sure!

A blended family. Not for the timid. One of the greatest assets in our favor? All three boys get along quite well. All three boys do well on their own. All three of them like to laugh. All three of them bring a unique personality to this family. (On that note, Terra brought up a great term that we both use now all of the time. Our boys are not "step-children" to each other. They are "bonus boys".)

We took these three boys - all of which are sort-of dare devils (this also brings a fun and unique blend of entertainment) to go snow tubing on the last day of our Christmas vacation trip to Asheville, NC. The rain didn't seem to stop most of the week, so our plans changed a bit from active outdoor activities to a more subdued sojourn around town. Even though it wasn't what we all had planned, we made it work. So, when the sun came out on the final day, as we drove from Asheville to Charlotte where we would spend the night to catch a flight the next morning home, on a whim, we decided to go snowtubing! The drive turned out to take us through a gorgeous part of the state with scenery from postcards, small cute towns, numerous Christmas tree farms and even a stop to fill up with gas at a fueling station with a gas pump from 1975...you know...the non-digital kind where the numbers actually rolled like a slot machine. This blew Spencer's mind since he'd never witnessed a machine like this before in his life.

Once we arrived, we paid, waited, looked around and eventually walked over to get in line and receive our tubes. The lines were long, but that didn't bug us as the wait didn't seem to last long. The of the daredevils to go was Chandler. Head first. Chalin stood behind him. Of course - head first. Terra waited to go next. Head first. We leaned on the conservative side with Spencer. He blasted down the slope feet first. I took off in a running start head first as well. All of us flew down the slope rebounded off the snow/iced barrier that separated the 5 lanes. At the end of the run, mounted on all four faces (okay 5....I grinned ear to ear as well) were smiles and laughter and the normal jabber after a cool experience like this. Much like a first roller-coaster experience, I heard "do it again", "this time lets do this lane", or "lets try this one!". Memories etching in all of our minds. Something to look back upon that is happy, fun and well, memorable.

I couldn't help hear the song that Terry Crews hilariously sings throughout the movie Blended. "They're blending. Oh yes...they're blending". A smile. A memory. A new family. Not a bad way to end 2014. A wonderful way to start 2015.


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Thanksgiving and The New Beginning - Thank You...Everyone!

Thanksgiving. Thankfulness. Thanks. Where to start? As I sit in the breakfast area of the LaQuinta surrounded by the aroma of freshly brewed Community Coffee (yes I chose the Dark Roast with Chicory) here in the thriving metropolis of Hammond, LA, I ponder on this Thanksgiving the numerous people who have poured their hearts into my life. So many individuals sacrificed time, given words, shed tears, brought laughter, and so many other things to my life since that fateful day - March 11, 1969. I want to take some time to thank those who have impacted my life. There is no real order to this, but I did decide to save my most recent and the person who has built my hope for a future for last of course.

Thankful for my parents for getting everything started (I know...TMI...hee hee).

Thankful for my dad for teaching me work ethic, love, loyalty, service, family priorities, and that nothing is free in life. The older he gets the more his heart grows. He has such a love for his grandchildren. He is the quintessential grandpa.

Thankful for Jan. You love my dad. You make him smile. You travel the world with him which grants one of his dreams to come true. You greet us with a smile.

Thankful for my mom. She taught me the importance of having a big heart, a good attitude, nurture, how to fall asleep on a couch before 8:30, and some of the best southern sayings on the planet. I miss her all of the time yet so thankful for the time I was blessed with for the thirty years I had her.

Thankful for my sister. We fought like the proverbial cat and dog growing up and now grow closer each and every day. How special is that? I'd take a bullet for her and she'd do the same while riding her horse. To have her so close by is something I never want to take for granted. It sure beats the 9 hour drive to Oklahoma.

Thankful for the rest of the Cahill family. Bobby, Sandra, Scott (I miss you and think of you often still), Jenny and Vince - I don't think I laugh more until I am around all of you. The reminiscing of stories growing up. The constant stories of my dad that make me roll on the floor (sometimes literally). You always bring a smile to my face and I just wish we saw each other more often.

Thankful for my grandparents. The smell of fried chicken will always remind me of my childhood. The wit of my grandpa. The strength of my grandma. The giving hearts of both of them. Need I say more?

Thankful for my Chandler and Spencer. Ten years apart. Totally different yet so much a like. Love them more than words can express. I well up inside knowing what we have been through together. The Lord is going to use these two. I just know it. He hasn't brought them through so much for His word on their lives to return void. They bring true joy to my heart.

Thankful for Chalin. My "bonus boy". My heart grows each day knowing that he is part of the family now. What a privilege. Love this boy and can't wait to see how God uses him. He is talented, naturally brilliant and has a quick wit. Love this bonus in my life. What a blessing!

Thankful for the Zaruba's. Robin and Danielle have been there for me and Spencer especially throughout so much of the past five years. I don't think I could ever come close to repaying them for all they have done. What an amazing family. When the Lord created these two, he ran out of room in their chests because their hearts are so big.

Thankful for the Barrett's. What amazing friends. They have served us, loved us, laughed and cried with us. All while going through the worst pain parents could ever conceive. The loss of a child. I love you Chad and Melissa. I love your kiddos. I miss your precious Kristina. I am so thankful the Lord put you in my life. So fortunate to call you friends.

Thankful for Curt Williams. What can I say about Curt? I can't be thankful enough for a friend who loves when it's tough. Suffers when there is no strength left. Counsels when the words aren't popular. Clings to God's word when it's viewed as archaic. Loves his wife, Shelley, and family publicly and privately with a servant's heart. Loves the unlovely. Touches the untouchable. Hugs the unhuggable. Thank you for your example of biblical Christianity.

Thankful for Jerrell. This man has stuck with me through thick and thin since I was 15 years old. He is always only a phone call away even though is a 24+ hours away by car. He is one of the best listeners I have met. His desire has always been to take away pain and heartache. He truly has a heart for knowledge of scripture and how to apply that to his life. Amazing friend.

Thankful for Woody and Tracie. I love these two people. I can't think of a couple who loves each other more publicly yet are so different in personality. The glue that constantly grows them closer together is their passion for the lost, heart for the hopeless and devotion to their kids and grand daughter. What a blessing to call them friends. They have done more for me, Terra, Chandler, Spencer and Chalin than they know. They make us laugh. They challenge our hearts and minds. They are true friends.

Thankful for Jason. This guy loves. That's all there is to it. I don't think I have ever met a man who has a deeper passion for the word love and how that is lived out to the flock he pastors, to his friends (me included), to his bride of so many years, and to ministry. He and I have known each other since 1987. He has always been a friend that "sticks closer than a brother". The type where we pick up right where we left off each time we talk or meet.

Thankful for Rick and Nina. This couple is gold pure and simple. They have been here for me constantly for years. Not just a phone call away. They drop everything when they can to help and to love. They are such great examples of pouring their hearts and lives into their kids. Such a lost art in today's society. This couple knows the secret! They empower their boys to succeed and fail. What an amazing gift to watch. So blessed to call these two my friends. They are adopted Cahill's and we are adopted Dodgen's. The fact that that will always be the case makes my heart happy. Rick was one of the first to look at me in the eyes, after spending time with Terra at the MS 150, and asked me what the world I was waiting for? He saw almost immediately how special of a woman Terra really is and that she and I just fit each other. Thank you, Rick.

Thankful for Madelyn. She is a phenomenal friend who has been there for me through so many times and trials. An incredible lady who loves God, has a heart for her children and is always there to listen. 

Thankful for Phil and Caroline. Friends that keep in touch no matter the schedule. Phil has the gift of encouragement and Caroline has the gift of service. Put those two together and the blessings are bountiful. 

Thankful for Clark. What a great friend and so fun to watch the Lord work in this man's heart. Big heart. Gentle spirit. The Lord is going to use him in amazing ways. Thank you for being my friend.

Thankful for Dean Fullerton. Dean has become a great friend (since 2002) and business partner (since 2012). He believes in people. He shows grace. He is ethical and fair in his business practices. He loves his bride and kiddos (grown and still at home). A great example of big kid, smart business man, and lover of those less fortunate due to his love for the Lord. So thankful the Lord put this man and his family in my path.

Thankful for Duane Mills. How can I put together a list of thankfulness without Duane? The man gave me the "double-take" when I asked him about "all of this Jesus-stuff" back on January 23, 1985. He loved me enough to walk me through not only Who Jesus is, but how to walk with Him and enjoy a rich relationship with Christ. Duane taught me the importance of spending time with people one-on-one and how that makes such an impact on those seeking to know more about a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Thankful for Jeff Chandler. My years of interning under this man were some of the most memorable of all of the ten years of vocational ministry from 1989-1999. Never have I met a man with more of a passion for evangelism, broken-heart for teenagers, and creative mind for ministry. So thankful for my time with Jeff, the fact that we are still friends to this day and that he is still a grace-giver.

Thankful for Bill and Sue Himmell. What a couple. I had the privilege of serving with this couple from 1991-1995 in Pearland at Fellowship Bible Church. God did amazing things through these people. I learned so much about humility, not taking myself so darn seriously, and loving unconditionally. They are still friends to this day that I can pick up the phone and call. Sue has such a love for Bill and Bill for Sue. What an amazing example. This couple sets the benchmark when it comes to long-suffering as they have served at FBC since the 80's. God has a special mansion and crown for couples like this.

Thankful for Tom and Maureen. A lot of ups and downs in the last five years. Such a love for their grandchildren. Such a heart for embracing change when it is difficult. Accepting my new bride and bonus child with open arms. Great pictures of grace and mercy this couple and so thankful they are still in my life when with all that has happened the since 2009, so many would have walked away. The door is always open.

Thankful for Terra. My bride. My heartbeat. My breath. You have given me a new grapefruit. The jolt of happiness I experience when I see your smile (you know the one...yep when your eyes disappear) brings more to my immediate life than water for nourishment in a dessert. Who would have thought that a refrigerator, a drama ministry, a friendship, and a few beers and margaritas would bring us to a young amazing marriage. You could have walked away so many times (and I wouldn't have blamed you in the least), but you chose patience over impatience. You decided to show grace and mercy toward me over misunderstanding and judgement. You fell in love with not only me, but my boys. You love them unconditionally like they are yours. That kind of love only comes from the Father. God gave you a heart for the three of us. For me. For Chandler. For Spencer. To express how much an answer to prayer would be impossible with the written word. You would need to carve into my emotionally scarred heart to see just how much this truly means to me as a dad and as a man. I am thankful to wake up next to you every morning. Thankful when we cook together. Thankful when we exercise together. Thankful when we make the time to pray together. Thankful for your heart for God, ministry to ladies, your love for the simple, your passion to have fun and explore, your giving spirit, your sacrificial spirit, and your ability to make the complex understandable. I love how you dream of the future with me. I love the fact that you want to see us grow closer and stronger as a married couple each day. I love that allow me to lead even when I fail and then you don't judge. You embrace grace. You display mercy. I love you, Terra. I am so thankful God dropped you in my life back in the summer of 2012 at such a trying time in my life. You waited a year before I was ready to date. You were patient with me when I was frightened to tell many people. You stayed with me all throughout the next year and a half until I finally "took the leap of faith" to ask you to be my bride. What a beautiful picture of Ephesians 5 and Proverbs 31 you are to me and countless others. I love you.

There truly are several others I am sure that I have not mentioned and I am sorry if I didn't mention you. I don't want to hurt feelings in any way.

So much to write about now! I can't wait to get started! Oh wait...I just did. <[8^}

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Hope...

Hope.

Hope brings me vision.

Hope sustains me through difficult times.

Hope raises me out of bed in the morning to tackle the day.

Hope disperses the mundane.

Hope opens doors when others have been slammed shut.

Hope stirs the soul's fire when despair has attempted to toss water on the flame.

Hope starts new dreams and keeps older ones alive.

Hope fills the glass that was half empty to overflowing and spilling over into aspects of life that I never thought could be touched.

Hope reaches down to pull me up when I am at the bottom and points me to a Savior who is completely crazy about me.

Hope pushes me to be better for my two sons.

Hope aids in the healing of the past and ushers in the meaning of "new creation in Christ".

Hope keeps my eyes fixed on the prize.

Hope presses the re-start button each day so that I keep looking forward and dwell on the past.

Hope will grow me past PTSD.

Hope gives me the future that I thought could not be attained.

Hope doesn't drain me...it motivates me everyday.

Hope brings a smile to my face when I watch my two sons laugh, fills me with warmth when I hug them, wipes my tears away when there is pain, and holds all of the pieces together when I think all is lost.

Hope.

Hope is bigger than me.

Hope is the Lord God Almighty. Crazy about me. Crazy about my sons. Wants the best for us. Wants us to succeed. Desires an intimate relationship with us because we are His creation. His masterpiece of art.

I am so thankful He gave me His Hope.

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Vacay 2013...A Change of Plans Brought Memories for a Lifetime

Chandler and Spencer walking at Fiesta Texas. A thousand words.

"What time are we leaving?" Spencer asked me as I pounded away on the keyboard Thursday around 5:00.

"I have about 30 more minutes on this project, buddy and then we can start putting all of our things together, load the car and get on the road." I responded to my quite excited 7 year old.

Thirty minutes turned into an hour of course, but the spreadsheets were complete and emailed. Up the stairs we climbed to pack up the final bits of clothing and other needs for the Cahill Family Vacay to San Antonio. The goal was to leave at 5:00. We drove out of the garage at 7:15. Man plans...God laughs.

Awaiting us in the quick 3 1/2 hour drive out I-10 was a 103 year old hotel in the heart of San Antonio just around the corner from the Alamo and two blocks from the famed Riverwalk. Priceline blessed us with this first night for only $60! Quite the deal to say the least.

On the drive, a gorgeous sunset led the way as we sojourned west. Once we arrived, checked in and parked, we took the elevator to our room. Spencer opened the door and his mouth fell open. There in the room stood two four post cherry rice beds and two bathrooms. They upgraded us for no additional charge. What an awesome way to start the vacation. The place was beautiful and filled with history. A perfect fit for being around the block from the legendary Alamo.

The plan? Our only plan for the entire vacation was to have fun, go to Sea World, Fiesta Texas, Alamo, Riverwalk and see some family. No real strategy on when. Lets fly from the seat of our pants and soak in every moment. No rushing. No stressing.

Sooooo...off to Target to pick up a couple of things and then back to the Riverwalk. I have traversed the Riverwalk many times over the past twenty years. I don't remember the fish ever being this large! The river was full of ducks, ducklings and fish awaiting all of us patrons to feed them. Of course we obliged as we found a great Tex Mex place with good shade and a table sitting on the Riverwalk edge. Chandler, Spencer and I threw chips to all of the begging animals and aquatic life as we ate chips/queso, quesadillas and soaked in the scenery. After the feast, we walked the river, took pics and ended up at the Rivercenter Mall where we had fun at The Disney Store (miss this place) and other places. That night we met the cousins at County Line BBQ and we chowed again while all of the younger cousins played and Robert (2) entertained us with his cuteness.

Day 2 cranked up with a morning boat cruise around the river with an entertaining history lesson

Riverwalk River Cruise

from the driver. One of the best decisions of the day? Not doing this cruise in the afternoon when the temps rose to over 100 degrees. Getting on the boat, the mercury stood at 85-90, so the 30-45 minute river cruise brought much less sweat and even lesser discomfort compared to the people that decided to take the trip down the river in the blazing afternoon heat.

The plans quickly changed later as the cousins got caught out in a diaper emergency, so the Alamo got pushed to later in the day. Chandler found a place that served Italian Gelato! Oh man...if you have never tried this stuff you truly have not lived. I think we sampled almost every one of them (except bubblegum...YUCK!). Spencer had some then and Chandler and I decided to wait and come back later after we had more Tex Mex on the Riverwalk. Our Tex Mex choice was the long-standing Casa Rio. They started their restaurant in the 1940's on the Riverwalk. Amazing! Off to the Alamo to meet the cousins again. I minored in History at U of H, so I love this stuff. What made this even more awesome was walking these hallowed halls with a History expert in Vince. Vince is a history teacher who has studied Texas History for years. He told me things that I had never heard from his recent research. Always amazed at his knowledge.

Spencer feeds me some gelato

After the Alamo, we walked across the street for our gelato (I had the Tiramisu - who wouldn't?!). We hung out and laughed and talked some more, but we had to check out of our hotel and head out to the San Antonio Missions minor league baseball game.

The Missions game turned out to be pretty epic for a minor league baseball game. They had just called up a guy who had finished his college playing days and it was his first night. He didn't have a name on his jersey. The guy played like he was ready to be called up to AAA ball. He almost knocked the game winning home run to deep center field only for it be caught on the warning track. The next guy up hit the game winning home run over the left field fence and the place erupted. It was good old-time baseball. To top it off, seats were only $11 at the field level. When was the last time we paid that for an Astros game?

Shamu doin' her thing.

Spencer couldn't wait. As we checked into our next hotel, he knew that the next day we would head out to Sea World. Both of my guys are animal fans, but even more, they love aquatic life. Dolphin, whales, sharks, fish, sting ray, penguins, seals, walrus, etc. They both love them all! Sea World has them all including a couple of really cool roller coasters. At this point, Chandler and I get a shocked. Spencer decided he wants to ride the Steel Eel. This is a pretty serious coaster. Not only does he want to ride this bad boy, he wants to ride the very front! Ooooookay! As we get in line, all that goes through my mind is that he will change his mind when we get up there. Nope. He got even more excited. The coaster climbed the hill with that familiar chain sound pulling us up to let us go when we reached the top. We take off and Spencer lets out a spine tingling scream. He was scared for the first 5 seconds and then he started to laugh and scream at the same time. He's hooked.

The three of us on the Steel Eel at Sea World

We saw Shamu later in the day, watched the dolphins, goofed off with the cousins at the kiddie water area, and had a blast at Sea World. By the end of the day, we headed back to the Steel Eel for one more ride and then to the car. By the time we arrived to the hotel, the restaurant had closed, so we found a Buffalo Wild Wings close by. Spencer fell asleep in my lap before the food got to us. A good sign of a fun day. Chandler challenged himself with spicy wings as I asked the waiter to put the Tour on of the 50 TV's in the room. He obliged and we feasted again to the sounds cycling in the background. Another great ending to a wonderful day.

Fiesta Texas loomed. I have to be honest here by saying a I was a bit nervous about this one. I knew that Spencer had a blast on the Steel Eel at Sea World, but this is Six Flags. They specialize in the roller coaster. He wanted to ride one straight up first off. Okay!

The first coaster was a fail. It was fun, but quite jarring, so he didn't like it much. We then got on the Road Runner. For those of you who remember Astroworld and the Runaway Mine Train, it was quite reminiscent of that ride. We had a blast with that ride. So much so that we rode it about three times that day. Chandler rode the new Iron Rattler, Superman and a couple of others that Spencer was either too short for or was a little nervous in getting on after the first one we rode that day. The rain showed up and cooled things off which was nice actually as it also emptied the park! No wait in the lines produced a lot of options for rides. We all loved the shooting ghost Scooby Doo ride (much like the Buzz Lightyear ride at Disney). All in all, a wonderful day. We caught up with the cousins again along with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Sandra that night at Willie G's Ice House. Great food and more fun with awesome family that we don't get the chance to see very often.

Chandler with little Robert. He LOVES Chandler.

Season tickets make sense on a trip like this because if you have an extra day, like we did, then you can go back and hit the things you missed the first time through. So, we actually did plan out the last day of our vacation. We took a shuttle to Sea World that morning and saw all of the shows that we missed on Sunday. We also saw the sea lions, took in a ski show, and of course, rode the Steel Eel again. After we finished there, we drove out to Fiesta Texas to get on some rides we missed the day before. Spencer surprised Chandler and I again by saying he wanted to ride the Iron Rattler! He was tall enough, but this beast hits 70 mph, has a full loop twist and a dark tunnel. He rode with me in the middle car. It completely freaked him out and he cried for about five minutes. After I calmed him down, we went and rode some other rides and then he said he wanted to try it again! After the third time asking me to ride it again, I finally said, "Buddy, you cried for five minutes after you got off, why do you want to ride it again?"

"I am not scared anymore."

"Are you saying you were scared because you didn't know what to expect in the ride? And that now that you have been on it, you know what to expect and you will be fine?"

"Yes, daddy. I want to ride it again. I know what's coming now."

Soooo, off we go to the line for the Iron Rattler "take two". This time around? No fear. Nothing but elation! He was psyched the entire time. He screamed. He laughed. He was grinning from ear to ear. Seven years old and 45 pounds of no thrill seeking energy.

At the Alamo

After the last ride on the Iron Rattler, we took the trip east on I-10 to head back to the humidity metropolis. Spencer cried because he didn't want to go home. Chandler said it best, "Dad, that's a good sign of a great vacation." He was right. We had a great time the three of us. We laughed. We screamed. We stood amazed.

No specific plans each day brought lasting memories. Love these two. Love being a dad. Love making them laugh and smile.

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Nothing Like Being On the Stage...

As some of you know, one of my passions is performing in some way or fashion. Recently, I was given the blessing to start up the drama ministry at our church. We have a great small group of folks that love to get up on stage and really make something special. When we first started, we put together some great sketches (mostly from Willowcreek) that struck the heart with a clear message which were quite funny due to what everyone brought to their characters.

Enter the spring (In Texas spring starts in January because our winter is maybe a couple of weeks ---- and that is a stretch!). I sent a script to Woody, our Pastor, and Robin, our Worship Pastor, and asked them to take a look at and see if we could do it sometime during Easter week. The church had a great and thriving drama crew years ago, so most people had never seen something like a 30 minute dramatic presentation that was a little...no a lot...on the non-traditional church side of things. They read it and both agreed that it was moving, heavy and really needed to be on its own night instead of a Sunday morning. I completely agreed.

From there, the Lord really took over. I asked a great friend, Madelyn, who was a theater major at Florida State University, to come over and direct the cast. She, of course, did a fabulous job and brought more out of all of us than we could have without her.

The cast assimilated after only a couple of weeks and we had our first read-through on a Sunday evening. Our Pastor, Woody, who has a great background in stage acting, took the role of Caiaphas. Convincing really doesn't cover how well he did this part. Carl, with full head of steam (not hair...sorry Carl...love ya, bro) tackled the challenging, arrogant character of a Roman government official and took it to a great level of arrogance, sarcasm and authority that it demanded. Sabrina played Pilates wife. She was a little nervous at first, but wow, when she got into the character...game on! One of the great blessings was being on stage with a living miracle, cancer survivor, Kristina Barrett. Watch this little girl everyone. God has something special for this one. She is a 10 year old that has no fear of direction and was the comic relief the script asked for. Thank you to Chad and Melissa for all of the time they drove her up to the church and to Chad for all of the times he helped Madelyn with keeping up with where we were in the script when we dropped lines in rehearsal. Michael had to be one of the most compassionate Jesus' I have ever seen portrayed on stage. He had never acted before, but you would NEVER know that based on his performance and how he made Jesus the true Man-God. Terra played Kristina's mom and had the challenge of keeping up with me. Yes...I tend to go off script and ad-lib at times. She brought depth to her role that was truly awesome to act side by side with on the platform. I played Pilate at a time in history that is completely silent on him, after he is sentenced to live out the rest of his life on an island. No one really knows what island or where it is located. Historians have debated it for years. This is what makes the script so fun. It is truly a creation from almost nothing.

Soooo, off we go to rehearsals. Each week two to three times a week, we met for an hour or two each practice and slowly started finding the characters, the blocking, etc. Madelyn's son, a talented skate boarder (is that a word?) and videographer, put together a teaser trailer for the performance that we showed at church and I put up on Facebook and Twitter. We tried to market it as much as we could at church and on social media leading up to that Thursday not really knowing who or how many would actually show up.

When the night came and we finished our mic check, we prayed as a cast and went to our designated areas to get into character. I stowed myself away in a room with a bunch of stacked chairs. 7:00 came and I could hear more people coming through the entrance doors into the foyer. By 7:05, Matt, our esteemed youth pastor, came in with a chair dolly and brought out about 60 extra chairs! Wow! So, the turnout was nice. The place was packed.

Lights out. Cue opening music and voice overs from the beginning of the script and off we went. The Lord really touched a lot of people. I was quite blown away at how it all came together and due to its success we will be doing more of these for special occasions in the future. One of the most frequent requests was to perform on multiple nights! How cool is that?

So, all of this to say, thank you for all that came out to see this unique performance and keep an eye out for more in the coming months of the Not-So-Ready -For-Drama-Team Players.



My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind in 2013

Yes, May 2nd. A full five months since my fingers have touched the keys in this blog. So much for consistency. I believe, lately, the only consistency has been the fact that I truly do not know what happens next, where that will lead and what that will entail!

The day after my last entry, I perched myself onto my $29.99 (had to be honest...it wasn't $19.95) digital scale with body fat % read out. Yep, not so good news. I had grown to 198 pounds and let's just say my % was uh...high. Time for a plan. Fast forward with a lot of riding later and I have lost 20 pounds with my bodyfat still falling.

Time for a new plan as I have stagnated as of late though. So, I am signed up for my first race. An Aquabike (no this is not some race on water with one of those massive tricycle looking things at the park or beach). It is basically a triathlon without the running. Gives me something to keep focused and forces me to write out a training plan.

Meanwhile, back at the Batcave (or in my case the spiderweb since I am much bigger Spiderman fan than Batman), the boys and I have had an extremely busy spring. Between work, school, work, school, cycling, work, school (you get the idea) sleep fits in somewhere.

So where to from here? I do have some experiences coming up that I want to write about:

Spencer Art
Back On The Stage
ChandlerAge
Consequences Three+ Years Later
Settling Into Ohana
Breaking PR's
Summer Plans/Dreams

So...keep an eye out. I will be updating this a little more and making this a priority again. It is therapy for me and the fact that some of you keep reading and coming back to read some entries multiple times means a lot to me as a novice writer. So, thank you and keep an eye out for more entries in the near future.


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Discussions by Candlelight Wrapped in a Bath Towel - Happy New Year

Spencer the Sheepdog in the Kids Christmas Musical

New Year's Eve. Throughout the past, I have celebrated this holiday with a spread of emotion from exuberance with fireworks to nights in the bed in tears fearing what the next year would bring. Quite the range, I know. There seems to be hope on the horizon for now. With a new home, celebrating Christmas in the Ohana and now facing a New Year, the excitement of heading to a New Year's Eve party with the MOB (the name of my Sunday School class that I attend quite inconsistently) with a quick stop over to some great friends, the Medley's, filled my heart. The last few New Year's have not been so joyous, so having one to look forward to turned into quite the blessing.

Talking on the phone with a good friend, the power jolted in my home. Even my cell phone dropped the call. My seven year old fears the dark more than the average first grader, so I quickly snagged the lighter to light some candles. He started to cry as I quickly created light to bring both sight and comfort to the little guy's mind. How do you explain to a child that has such a big fear of darkness that he is going to be just fine and not be eaten up by some unseen thing or worse that same darkness somehow swallow us whole and turn spit us out in some foreign place or other planet (not that he thinks this, but that would be kinda scary!).

I quickly thought of what I could do to keep him distracted. I own a battery operated atomic clock that sits on my night stand. All a person has to do is push it down and there is instant light showing the time with seconds ticking away with the date and current temperature. What a cool toy! Spencer became my stopwatch. I needed to get in a workout anyway, so why not get in 30 minutes on the bike trainer while he gives me the cues to slow down and speed up on the pedals or sit and stand out of the saddle?

Mark it down folks! It worked! For the next 35 minutes, I would tell him the time that he needed to watch for and give me the signal. I would then speed up or slow down or stand or sit or change gears, etc etc etc. Spencer, unknowingly, turned into a wonderful workout partner.

It also put us behind on schedule. I figured the power would pop back on during the workout. No wind. No storm. No rain. Nothing. Yet, the power just quit. As I cooled down for 15 minutes he was completely proud of himself for helping dad with his workout. Still no power after the cool down. I needed to shower. I carried the lit candle into the bathroom and placed it on the counter. I gave Spencer my clock and fired up another candle for him. I took a shower by candle light. When I snagged the towel and wrapped it around me, Spencer came into the bathroom.

Out of the blue, he asked a question about my mom. This was a first. I told him that my mom would have loved him and he would have loved her as well (my mom passed away in 1999). He said that he missed his mom. I told him that I understood and asked him if he remembered his mommy when she was here.

**Sidenote - I have been encouraged by professionals that when he initiates conversations like this to listen and ask questions that lead to open ended questions as well. 

He shook his head. I asked him what he did remember about his mommy being with us. He gave a shoulder shrug. So, I asked him whether his memories were good or bad of mommy being here. He said that they were good. I told that he needs those good memories. We talked about some memories. We laughed about some. We were saddened by others (mainly the ones that she has missed).

Needless to say, this was a breakthrough. A seven year old freely sharing like this is a great thing. I sat there in my dark closet with a towel wrapped around me for 20 minutes listening and talking with my little 7 year old in a way that I didn't think would happen for at least another 4 years from now. A window opened and I saw a smidgen of his heart, his memories, his sadness, his loss, and his current happiness.

We missed the chance to go to our friends, but made the MOB party. Spencer and I had a ball.

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Christmas at Ohana - Elves, Pan and New Memories

Quiet the Elf replacing stockings with underwear

We celebrate Christmas with passion in the Cahill household. Through the years, since my childhood, there has been singing, dancing to corny songs, a ton of hilarity, of course gift giving, and numerous other tales I could tell which would make some laugh so hard it would illicit tears and other stories at the opposite end of the spectrum that would yield driblets of sadness.

Now, at Ohana, we strive to usher in a new era of tradition, fun, laughter, and sincerity into our new home. New memories. Fresh breath of air. Savory Scenery. Scents that will bring about thoughts of happiness for years to come.

Christmas Eve has arrived. The concluding scene of our little Elf on the Shelf, Quiet (quite appropriately named by the creative 7 year old of the household), unrolled in the media room as he decided to invent a Manger Scene with a number of Spencer's "buddies" starring the key roles of Luke chapter 2. A small dalmatian puppy plays the baby Jesus wrapped in some toilet paper lying on a ten pound unfolded set of ankle weights (feeding trough). Throughout the month of December, this little guy acted out, acted up, but most importantly, brought a lot of morning giggles to the Ohana household. Everything from hanging from chandeliers to bungee jumping to replacing stockings with underwear (pictured to your right), etc. Quiet made his little mark on our lives and we are thankful. New tradition? Check! Great memories? Absolutely (one of my favorite words that I hear my friend, Rick, say with emotion from time to time)!

Chandler and Savannah at Peter Pan

As a child, my parents attempted to teach my sister and I culture from time to time. We visited museums, art exhibits, King Tut's Tour, Neil Diamond concerts (okay, these were not really culture, but my mom was a massive Neil Diamond fan - Forever in Blue Jeans!) and of course, the theater. Memories span back to when I was just six years old going to see The Nutcracker (yes, I fell asleep) in Chicago. A few years later, I saw my first musical, Peter Pan (I didn't fall asleep in this one). When I heard that Peter Pan was coming to Houston for the Christmas season, I started to draw up my plans to take the boys. We went with my lifelong friend and his family as well as Chandler's girlfriend, Savannah. The sets were stunning. The uses of the scrim were mouth-dropping. The acting, singing and dancing brought Broadway right here to downtown Houston's theater district. My highlight? Not all of what I just stated. As I sat watching the musical two areas will stick in my mind forever as fond memories. First, my oldest, Chandler, sitting with his girlfriend. As they watched the show together, they laughed, smiled and enjoyed the show and each other. Sincere. Young love. I let it soak in and I smiled. Second, as a tune was being sung on stage, I heard a tiny voice start to sing a-long. I recognized it immediately. I slowly leaned down to listen as my little seven year old's eyes were fixed on the stage and he was singing out and along with Peter Pan himself. He was eating this up. And so was I.

Chandler and Spencer in front of our first Christmas Tree at Ohana

This first month at Ohana has already shown me that this decision to sell the home we had lived in for the past 13 years and to start over in a new place will bring newness to our lives as well as the ability to move forward from a difficult three years. Promise and hope awaits the three of us as we continue this Christmas season. The excitement of what will come for this trio over the next few years truly fills my heart with joy.

Now.....off to take another picture of that crazy little elf before he takes off for the North Pole until next December!


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

November Emotions and Ohana

Ohana - Chandler named our new home after Lilo and Stitch - Very appropriate - in their words, "Ohana means family and family means no one is left behind." Love my oldest.

 

November has turned into a month of mixed emotions. Three years ago this week, my life was turned upside down by abandonment. Yet, at the same time, this time next week, my boys and I will hopefully be standing in a new home ready to build a new life with new memories. I am so thankful at this time that God has allowed us to move in this direction. As much as I would love to have the rocky mountains out the window in view, I am more than content to be surrounded by so many friends, family and a wonderful church family that has supported us in these last three years.

Even though there are days of struggle, I am still filled with hope. In the midst of heartache at times, I look out and see the blessings that surround me. In the midst of loneliness at times, I am filled with the presence of the one true God who is crazy about me, my kids, and has a plan that is much greater than mine could ever be constructed.

All of this said...I sit here like a child on Christmas Eve not being able to wait to see what is under the tree as Santa has just rocketed out of sight. What a gift! Not just the house. The gift of newness. The gift of starting over. What is in my future? Who knows? I have stopped attempting to guess, plan and plot. Enjoying the journey one day at a time is just that. One day at a time.

My journey this week has been up and down. Depression and exhilaration. Reliving the past when I didn't want to...dreaming of the future and what it holds when I reached for hope. The past can be painful. The future a daunting task. The present? Well, the present is what we make of it built upon our foundation of truth. Living in the moment works well when our outlook is that of a strong foundation, positive mindset and trajectory that shoots for the stars.

Paul's words could not be more meaningful than this week, "Press forward...forget what lies behind...press on to the upward call of Christ." Being a cyclist, my picture is not of the foot race that Paul paints, but the final sprint of a big race where I am hammering out the pedals with my eye on the prize...the finish line. I can't look behind. I will lose my line. I can't look beside me. I will lose the strength in my pedal stroke. I must keep my eyes fixed on the finish line.

November...a month that will always be filled with raw emotion for me. A month that will now also remind me of newness. Starting over. A month where I focus on the prize...finishing the race strong. Hammering away to the finish. Full of emotion. Full of exhilaration. Full of Life!

                                    

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Blank Slate...Fresh Canvas...New Roads...God's Grace

As I sit sprawled out on my couch to type this, praise music quietly plays in the background with a growing almost seven year old singing along to a Chris Tomlin toon while playing with his hot wheels. I am surrounded by reminders that I have two boys almost 10 years apart. Headphones are out from Chandler's iPod. Spencer's "farm" complete with horses, pigs, cows, etc. spread throughout a 10 sq ft spot on the floor with planes, hot wheels, and other toys. To the right of that sits my prized material possession, yes, my bike. A Time Edge Pulse race bike sitting on its trainer awaiting a ride where I can pretend to be scaling Alpe Du Huez in France tearing apart the peloton as I climb to victory while hammering the pedals through 20+ switchbacks! My mind is filled with newness. Dreams. Places. Praises. Thanks. A fresh start.

Tabula Rasa. A fresh blank slate.

This is a psychological term that I learned in college while majoring in the same. It means a blank slate. With the past leaving quite an impact on the three of us with abandonment, I still ponder the wonder of God's grace in the midst of tragic loss and traumatic emotional scarring. It is true that these scars will always be here and that PTSD will rear its ugly head from time to time, but God's grace has never been more clear than now.

Selling the house and starting over with a new address, different roads to drive each day, different company to work for, different places to shop, different school to drop Spencer off each morning, different couch to perch upon, different vehicle to drive...the list goes on. There are many things at this point that I still have a hard time with and bring sadness (Billy Joel, Dave Matthews, smells, sounds, places, etc.) due to the immediate memories that these sensory stimuli illicit, but I remind myself that where I stand today begins anew. I am truly at a blank slate from where I was even in May.

As the days tick by like a large clock, I look at my oldest and see just a few years left with him at home as he will launch off to college and beyond. Does he realize that he just entered this world?! I also see a budding 6 (7 on Oct 24th) year old crazy about being this age, loves to laugh yet still struggles immensly with separation anxiety. I love these guys. They are my breath and life. The clock ticks by too fast.

This blank slate of ours reminds me of a fresh canvas. We have the opportunity to paint a piece of art that is our life from scratch. Yes, parts of the canvas have been impacted by the past and that will never be changed, but we have a chance to dream. To live anew. To, as Isaiah states, "mount up with wings like eagles". We are growing new wings, new talons, new beaks. The brush sits in our hands. We stand before the ezel to start anew.

I can't help but use another illustration to go along with this canvas. I remember the first time, I rode my bike in the hill country. I was surrounded by sounds I had never heard, scenery I had only beheld in pictures, and animals that I literally slowed down to gaze upon. Endless hills surrounded me as I pedaled through God's workmanship and I found myself in awe of His creation and craftsmanship. Our journey takes us on a ride much like that first ride on Upper Crabapple Road in Fredericksburg, TX. It will be challenging. I will be beautiful. There will be days that I want to quit. There will be days that I smile from ear to ear as bask in the wind of God's grace riding downhill in His creation. There will be days where I stop to smell the roses. There will be days that I hammer the pedals and am driven to aspire to some goal and make it to a certain point by a certain time. There will be days that I don't think I can make it to the top of a steep hill and He will be there to encourage me to hammer that much harder. Most importantly, it is not about finishing the ride, but enjoying the journey of this new road. I don't know where it ends. What hills and mountains I will have to traverse. One thing I do know, He will be there with me the entire route cheering me on with encouragement with my boys as we gaze upon His creation.

Ready...set....go


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

A Time That Will Never Be Forgotten

Chandler posing at Joe's Crab Shack - Don't know where he gets it from!

We found it. After numerous homes, two potential offers that were eventually pulled and endless driving all over Kingwood, we drove by a nice French Colonial home in Bear Branch. It was perfect. It even had the magnolia tree in the backyard that she had hoped for in addition to a bay window looking out to the backyard. We put in an offer the next day and moved in by December of 1999.

Chandler was only three and my time away from youth ministry? Not even a year yet. Spencer? Not even a glimmer of a thought. There, before us, stood our future. We built memories at this home that will last forever. I cannot begin to write the numerous times we all laughed (sometimes to the point of tears), had friends over for meals or card games, hosted Super Bowls, played kickball out front, teeball and baseball, took walks around the block or on the greenbelt, and many many many other memories from our family.

2009 changed all of that. Friday the 13th came and went like an atomic bomb. Now, almost three years later, the house was finally sold. Happy memories were replaced with haunting ones. Flashbacks became nightmares in the middle of the night. Tears of sadness and hurt substituted the laughter. Walking down a hallway, I could almost hear voices from the past, but the hallowed sounds were not holy anymore, but curses. Instead of bringing me to my knees in humility with the blessing of a full family, I fell to my face begging for answers and eventually the deliverance from what was once a refuge which had turned into a place filled with heartache and anguish.

No matter how many ways I changed the furniture around, painted walls, took down old pictures/paintings and placed new ones in their places, the memories still played in my mind like a looping movie reel.

Now, we had a buyer and the sale went through. We held an epic garage sale. Whatever didn't sell, we donated to HAAM. The next weekend, we spent the time putting everything together for the packers. After the packers finished, we made the move to the apartment. Spencer stayed the night with some friends. We had just about finished trucking everything from our sold 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath 2800 square foot home to our 2 bedroom 2 bath 1200 square foot apartment.

Chandler and I drove the Jeep back to the house for a few extra things before we went to bed at the apartment. As we walked into the house, an eerie feeling came over me. I was brought back in time to the first time I had walked into the family room in 1999. I remembered feeling the new carpet, seeing the leaves rustle in the Magnolia through the cool autumn breeze in the backyard, and the smile on her face that this was the place. I must have stood in the middle of that room for 5 minutes before snapping back into reality.

I started to fill one of the boxes with a few things and ended up filling the Jeep with a number of our belongings. I opened the back door and realized that I had not seen Chandler since we arrived. I knew where he was. I could feel it. As I pushed open the door to what was once his room for the vast majority of his life, he sat in a lone chair against the wall next to the door. A tear fell down his left cheek and he wiped it away.

I hugged him. We talked about the numerous memories in his room. Endless nights of reading books in his bunk bed with the cool light bulb hanging over his top bunk. Nerf basketball matches so intense that his closet doors eventually had to come off. Sleepovers. Neighborhood kids playing kickball. The memories were many. We both struggled to find words. I gazed upon Chanlder's face and he mine. We both hugged and wept for a good 5 minutes. We had to leave this house. We both knew it. We both knew how hard it all of a sudden had become to do just that and yet we knew it was the right thing.

I asked Chandler if he wanted me to pray. He said yes. So, I took his hands into mine and prayed. I wept as I praised God for all of the good memories at this wonderful home that he had blessed us with for almost 13 years. I also thanked Him that He opened the door for a new place to build new memories and have a new beginning for the three of us.

We stood. We hugged again. We walked to the Jeep and slowly drove away down the street for the last time together away from his childhood home. It was over yet we both knew that God had acted so quickly to sell this house that there was no mistaking the fact that we were walking the right road and that the Lord was in the middle of everything. God brought a smile to my face as Chandler drove back with me to the apartment. I was proud of my 16 year old. He opened up and we had a very intimate father/son moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life. We shared stories. We wept. We prayed. We rejoiced. What else can a dad ask for?

My grace is sufficient you...One Day At A Time!