Blended - "They're blendiiiing..."

Terra and I watched a funny movie this summer as we were going through what we termed "pre-engagement" counseling. I didn't want the pressure of a ring and an engagement as we dealt talked about challenges, baggage, etc etc etc.

Okay I'll admit it. I'm an Adam Sandler fan. Happy Gilmore still brings out belly laughs to this day. When I heard a new movie hit theaters with him and Drew Barrymore, Terra and I decided to go because it looked like something right up our alley and might even hit on some things that we were about to experience as well. Needless to say, if you have not seen the movie Blended, put it on your list. It's not only funny, but heartwarming.

We laughed throughout the flick. Sure it was over-the-top. What Adam Sandler movie isn't?! It was refreshing to see a good dad and a good mom from differing backgrounds come together and make it work despite the challenges. Yes, it ended with the Hollywood "happily ever after". What else would anyone expect? You can see it coming and, in this case, I applauded it.

In all my years, I never thought I would have a blended family. Like my tagline states, I "thought" my life was headed in one direction. Life doesn't always work out the way we intend it to nor does our big picture turn out to be our picture. Sometimes, we end up on a different canvas altogether. This is my story. Now, the dad to three boys (9, 13 and 18) and husband to a woman who compliments me in ways that I never conceived. Who would ever have thought that a dorky goofball like me who has had crazy dreams of voice-over acting, stage acting, and racing in the Tour (need Steve Austin's 6 million dollar man legs for that now with my knees!) would marry a woman with a PhD in Chemistry who is literally one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life. Cool? For sure!

A blended family. Not for the timid. One of the greatest assets in our favor? All three boys get along quite well. All three boys do well on their own. All three of them like to laugh. All three of them bring a unique personality to this family. (On that note, Terra brought up a great term that we both use now all of the time. Our boys are not "step-children" to each other. They are "bonus boys".)

We took these three boys - all of which are sort-of dare devils (this also brings a fun and unique blend of entertainment) to go snow tubing on the last day of our Christmas vacation trip to Asheville, NC. The rain didn't seem to stop most of the week, so our plans changed a bit from active outdoor activities to a more subdued sojourn around town. Even though it wasn't what we all had planned, we made it work. So, when the sun came out on the final day, as we drove from Asheville to Charlotte where we would spend the night to catch a flight the next morning home, on a whim, we decided to go snowtubing! The drive turned out to take us through a gorgeous part of the state with scenery from postcards, small cute towns, numerous Christmas tree farms and even a stop to fill up with gas at a fueling station with a gas pump from 1975...you know...the non-digital kind where the numbers actually rolled like a slot machine. This blew Spencer's mind since he'd never witnessed a machine like this before in his life.

Once we arrived, we paid, waited, looked around and eventually walked over to get in line and receive our tubes. The lines were long, but that didn't bug us as the wait didn't seem to last long. The of the daredevils to go was Chandler. Head first. Chalin stood behind him. Of course - head first. Terra waited to go next. Head first. We leaned on the conservative side with Spencer. He blasted down the slope feet first. I took off in a running start head first as well. All of us flew down the slope rebounded off the snow/iced barrier that separated the 5 lanes. At the end of the run, mounted on all four faces (okay 5....I grinned ear to ear as well) were smiles and laughter and the normal jabber after a cool experience like this. Much like a first roller-coaster experience, I heard "do it again", "this time lets do this lane", or "lets try this one!". Memories etching in all of our minds. Something to look back upon that is happy, fun and well, memorable.

I couldn't help hear the song that Terry Crews hilariously sings throughout the movie Blended. "They're blending. Oh yes...they're blending". A smile. A memory. A new family. Not a bad way to end 2014. A wonderful way to start 2015.


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Thanksgiving and The New Beginning - Thank You...Everyone!

Thanksgiving. Thankfulness. Thanks. Where to start? As I sit in the breakfast area of the LaQuinta surrounded by the aroma of freshly brewed Community Coffee (yes I chose the Dark Roast with Chicory) here in the thriving metropolis of Hammond, LA, I ponder on this Thanksgiving the numerous people who have poured their hearts into my life. So many individuals sacrificed time, given words, shed tears, brought laughter, and so many other things to my life since that fateful day - March 11, 1969. I want to take some time to thank those who have impacted my life. There is no real order to this, but I did decide to save my most recent and the person who has built my hope for a future for last of course.

Thankful for my parents for getting everything started (I know...TMI...hee hee).

Thankful for my dad for teaching me work ethic, love, loyalty, service, family priorities, and that nothing is free in life. The older he gets the more his heart grows. He has such a love for his grandchildren. He is the quintessential grandpa.

Thankful for Jan. You love my dad. You make him smile. You travel the world with him which grants one of his dreams to come true. You greet us with a smile.

Thankful for my mom. She taught me the importance of having a big heart, a good attitude, nurture, how to fall asleep on a couch before 8:30, and some of the best southern sayings on the planet. I miss her all of the time yet so thankful for the time I was blessed with for the thirty years I had her.

Thankful for my sister. We fought like the proverbial cat and dog growing up and now grow closer each and every day. How special is that? I'd take a bullet for her and she'd do the same while riding her horse. To have her so close by is something I never want to take for granted. It sure beats the 9 hour drive to Oklahoma.

Thankful for the rest of the Cahill family. Bobby, Sandra, Scott (I miss you and think of you often still), Jenny and Vince - I don't think I laugh more until I am around all of you. The reminiscing of stories growing up. The constant stories of my dad that make me roll on the floor (sometimes literally). You always bring a smile to my face and I just wish we saw each other more often.

Thankful for my grandparents. The smell of fried chicken will always remind me of my childhood. The wit of my grandpa. The strength of my grandma. The giving hearts of both of them. Need I say more?

Thankful for my Chandler and Spencer. Ten years apart. Totally different yet so much a like. Love them more than words can express. I well up inside knowing what we have been through together. The Lord is going to use these two. I just know it. He hasn't brought them through so much for His word on their lives to return void. They bring true joy to my heart.

Thankful for Chalin. My "bonus boy". My heart grows each day knowing that he is part of the family now. What a privilege. Love this boy and can't wait to see how God uses him. He is talented, naturally brilliant and has a quick wit. Love this bonus in my life. What a blessing!

Thankful for the Zaruba's. Robin and Danielle have been there for me and Spencer especially throughout so much of the past five years. I don't think I could ever come close to repaying them for all they have done. What an amazing family. When the Lord created these two, he ran out of room in their chests because their hearts are so big.

Thankful for the Barrett's. What amazing friends. They have served us, loved us, laughed and cried with us. All while going through the worst pain parents could ever conceive. The loss of a child. I love you Chad and Melissa. I love your kiddos. I miss your precious Kristina. I am so thankful the Lord put you in my life. So fortunate to call you friends.

Thankful for Curt Williams. What can I say about Curt? I can't be thankful enough for a friend who loves when it's tough. Suffers when there is no strength left. Counsels when the words aren't popular. Clings to God's word when it's viewed as archaic. Loves his wife, Shelley, and family publicly and privately with a servant's heart. Loves the unlovely. Touches the untouchable. Hugs the unhuggable. Thank you for your example of biblical Christianity.

Thankful for Jerrell. This man has stuck with me through thick and thin since I was 15 years old. He is always only a phone call away even though is a 24+ hours away by car. He is one of the best listeners I have met. His desire has always been to take away pain and heartache. He truly has a heart for knowledge of scripture and how to apply that to his life. Amazing friend.

Thankful for Woody and Tracie. I love these two people. I can't think of a couple who loves each other more publicly yet are so different in personality. The glue that constantly grows them closer together is their passion for the lost, heart for the hopeless and devotion to their kids and grand daughter. What a blessing to call them friends. They have done more for me, Terra, Chandler, Spencer and Chalin than they know. They make us laugh. They challenge our hearts and minds. They are true friends.

Thankful for Jason. This guy loves. That's all there is to it. I don't think I have ever met a man who has a deeper passion for the word love and how that is lived out to the flock he pastors, to his friends (me included), to his bride of so many years, and to ministry. He and I have known each other since 1987. He has always been a friend that "sticks closer than a brother". The type where we pick up right where we left off each time we talk or meet.

Thankful for Rick and Nina. This couple is gold pure and simple. They have been here for me constantly for years. Not just a phone call away. They drop everything when they can to help and to love. They are such great examples of pouring their hearts and lives into their kids. Such a lost art in today's society. This couple knows the secret! They empower their boys to succeed and fail. What an amazing gift to watch. So blessed to call these two my friends. They are adopted Cahill's and we are adopted Dodgen's. The fact that that will always be the case makes my heart happy. Rick was one of the first to look at me in the eyes, after spending time with Terra at the MS 150, and asked me what the world I was waiting for? He saw almost immediately how special of a woman Terra really is and that she and I just fit each other. Thank you, Rick.

Thankful for Madelyn. She is a phenomenal friend who has been there for me through so many times and trials. An incredible lady who loves God, has a heart for her children and is always there to listen. 

Thankful for Phil and Caroline. Friends that keep in touch no matter the schedule. Phil has the gift of encouragement and Caroline has the gift of service. Put those two together and the blessings are bountiful. 

Thankful for Clark. What a great friend and so fun to watch the Lord work in this man's heart. Big heart. Gentle spirit. The Lord is going to use him in amazing ways. Thank you for being my friend.

Thankful for Dean Fullerton. Dean has become a great friend (since 2002) and business partner (since 2012). He believes in people. He shows grace. He is ethical and fair in his business practices. He loves his bride and kiddos (grown and still at home). A great example of big kid, smart business man, and lover of those less fortunate due to his love for the Lord. So thankful the Lord put this man and his family in my path.

Thankful for Duane Mills. How can I put together a list of thankfulness without Duane? The man gave me the "double-take" when I asked him about "all of this Jesus-stuff" back on January 23, 1985. He loved me enough to walk me through not only Who Jesus is, but how to walk with Him and enjoy a rich relationship with Christ. Duane taught me the importance of spending time with people one-on-one and how that makes such an impact on those seeking to know more about a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Thankful for Jeff Chandler. My years of interning under this man were some of the most memorable of all of the ten years of vocational ministry from 1989-1999. Never have I met a man with more of a passion for evangelism, broken-heart for teenagers, and creative mind for ministry. So thankful for my time with Jeff, the fact that we are still friends to this day and that he is still a grace-giver.

Thankful for Bill and Sue Himmell. What a couple. I had the privilege of serving with this couple from 1991-1995 in Pearland at Fellowship Bible Church. God did amazing things through these people. I learned so much about humility, not taking myself so darn seriously, and loving unconditionally. They are still friends to this day that I can pick up the phone and call. Sue has such a love for Bill and Bill for Sue. What an amazing example. This couple sets the benchmark when it comes to long-suffering as they have served at FBC since the 80's. God has a special mansion and crown for couples like this.

Thankful for Tom and Maureen. A lot of ups and downs in the last five years. Such a love for their grandchildren. Such a heart for embracing change when it is difficult. Accepting my new bride and bonus child with open arms. Great pictures of grace and mercy this couple and so thankful they are still in my life when with all that has happened the since 2009, so many would have walked away. The door is always open.

Thankful for Terra. My bride. My heartbeat. My breath. You have given me a new grapefruit. The jolt of happiness I experience when I see your smile (you know the one...yep when your eyes disappear) brings more to my immediate life than water for nourishment in a dessert. Who would have thought that a refrigerator, a drama ministry, a friendship, and a few beers and margaritas would bring us to a young amazing marriage. You could have walked away so many times (and I wouldn't have blamed you in the least), but you chose patience over impatience. You decided to show grace and mercy toward me over misunderstanding and judgement. You fell in love with not only me, but my boys. You love them unconditionally like they are yours. That kind of love only comes from the Father. God gave you a heart for the three of us. For me. For Chandler. For Spencer. To express how much an answer to prayer would be impossible with the written word. You would need to carve into my emotionally scarred heart to see just how much this truly means to me as a dad and as a man. I am thankful to wake up next to you every morning. Thankful when we cook together. Thankful when we exercise together. Thankful when we make the time to pray together. Thankful for your heart for God, ministry to ladies, your love for the simple, your passion to have fun and explore, your giving spirit, your sacrificial spirit, and your ability to make the complex understandable. I love how you dream of the future with me. I love the fact that you want to see us grow closer and stronger as a married couple each day. I love that allow me to lead even when I fail and then you don't judge. You embrace grace. You display mercy. I love you, Terra. I am so thankful God dropped you in my life back in the summer of 2012 at such a trying time in my life. You waited a year before I was ready to date. You were patient with me when I was frightened to tell many people. You stayed with me all throughout the next year and a half until I finally "took the leap of faith" to ask you to be my bride. What a beautiful picture of Ephesians 5 and Proverbs 31 you are to me and countless others. I love you.

There truly are several others I am sure that I have not mentioned and I am sorry if I didn't mention you. I don't want to hurt feelings in any way.

So much to write about now! I can't wait to get started! Oh wait...I just did. <[8^}

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Hope...

Hope.

Hope brings me vision.

Hope sustains me through difficult times.

Hope raises me out of bed in the morning to tackle the day.

Hope disperses the mundane.

Hope opens doors when others have been slammed shut.

Hope stirs the soul's fire when despair has attempted to toss water on the flame.

Hope starts new dreams and keeps older ones alive.

Hope fills the glass that was half empty to overflowing and spilling over into aspects of life that I never thought could be touched.

Hope reaches down to pull me up when I am at the bottom and points me to a Savior who is completely crazy about me.

Hope pushes me to be better for my two sons.

Hope aids in the healing of the past and ushers in the meaning of "new creation in Christ".

Hope keeps my eyes fixed on the prize.

Hope presses the re-start button each day so that I keep looking forward and dwell on the past.

Hope will grow me past PTSD.

Hope gives me the future that I thought could not be attained.

Hope doesn't drain me...it motivates me everyday.

Hope brings a smile to my face when I watch my two sons laugh, fills me with warmth when I hug them, wipes my tears away when there is pain, and holds all of the pieces together when I think all is lost.

Hope.

Hope is bigger than me.

Hope is the Lord God Almighty. Crazy about me. Crazy about my sons. Wants the best for us. Wants us to succeed. Desires an intimate relationship with us because we are His creation. His masterpiece of art.

I am so thankful He gave me His Hope.

My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

Blank Slate...Fresh Canvas...New Roads...God's Grace

As I sit sprawled out on my couch to type this, praise music quietly plays in the background with a growing almost seven year old singing along to a Chris Tomlin toon while playing with his hot wheels. I am surrounded by reminders that I have two boys almost 10 years apart. Headphones are out from Chandler's iPod. Spencer's "farm" complete with horses, pigs, cows, etc. spread throughout a 10 sq ft spot on the floor with planes, hot wheels, and other toys. To the right of that sits my prized material possession, yes, my bike. A Time Edge Pulse race bike sitting on its trainer awaiting a ride where I can pretend to be scaling Alpe Du Huez in France tearing apart the peloton as I climb to victory while hammering the pedals through 20+ switchbacks! My mind is filled with newness. Dreams. Places. Praises. Thanks. A fresh start.

Tabula Rasa. A fresh blank slate.

This is a psychological term that I learned in college while majoring in the same. It means a blank slate. With the past leaving quite an impact on the three of us with abandonment, I still ponder the wonder of God's grace in the midst of tragic loss and traumatic emotional scarring. It is true that these scars will always be here and that PTSD will rear its ugly head from time to time, but God's grace has never been more clear than now.

Selling the house and starting over with a new address, different roads to drive each day, different company to work for, different places to shop, different school to drop Spencer off each morning, different couch to perch upon, different vehicle to drive...the list goes on. There are many things at this point that I still have a hard time with and bring sadness (Billy Joel, Dave Matthews, smells, sounds, places, etc.) due to the immediate memories that these sensory stimuli illicit, but I remind myself that where I stand today begins anew. I am truly at a blank slate from where I was even in May.

As the days tick by like a large clock, I look at my oldest and see just a few years left with him at home as he will launch off to college and beyond. Does he realize that he just entered this world?! I also see a budding 6 (7 on Oct 24th) year old crazy about being this age, loves to laugh yet still struggles immensly with separation anxiety. I love these guys. They are my breath and life. The clock ticks by too fast.

This blank slate of ours reminds me of a fresh canvas. We have the opportunity to paint a piece of art that is our life from scratch. Yes, parts of the canvas have been impacted by the past and that will never be changed, but we have a chance to dream. To live anew. To, as Isaiah states, "mount up with wings like eagles". We are growing new wings, new talons, new beaks. The brush sits in our hands. We stand before the ezel to start anew.

I can't help but use another illustration to go along with this canvas. I remember the first time, I rode my bike in the hill country. I was surrounded by sounds I had never heard, scenery I had only beheld in pictures, and animals that I literally slowed down to gaze upon. Endless hills surrounded me as I pedaled through God's workmanship and I found myself in awe of His creation and craftsmanship. Our journey takes us on a ride much like that first ride on Upper Crabapple Road in Fredericksburg, TX. It will be challenging. I will be beautiful. There will be days that I want to quit. There will be days that I smile from ear to ear as bask in the wind of God's grace riding downhill in His creation. There will be days where I stop to smell the roses. There will be days that I hammer the pedals and am driven to aspire to some goal and make it to a certain point by a certain time. There will be days that I don't think I can make it to the top of a steep hill and He will be there to encourage me to hammer that much harder. Most importantly, it is not about finishing the ride, but enjoying the journey of this new road. I don't know where it ends. What hills and mountains I will have to traverse. One thing I do know, He will be there with me the entire route cheering me on with encouragement with my boys as we gaze upon His creation.

Ready...set....go


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!

A Time That Will Never Be Forgotten

Chandler posing at Joe's Crab Shack - Don't know where he gets it from!

We found it. After numerous homes, two potential offers that were eventually pulled and endless driving all over Kingwood, we drove by a nice French Colonial home in Bear Branch. It was perfect. It even had the magnolia tree in the backyard that she had hoped for in addition to a bay window looking out to the backyard. We put in an offer the next day and moved in by December of 1999.

Chandler was only three and my time away from youth ministry? Not even a year yet. Spencer? Not even a glimmer of a thought. There, before us, stood our future. We built memories at this home that will last forever. I cannot begin to write the numerous times we all laughed (sometimes to the point of tears), had friends over for meals or card games, hosted Super Bowls, played kickball out front, teeball and baseball, took walks around the block or on the greenbelt, and many many many other memories from our family.

2009 changed all of that. Friday the 13th came and went like an atomic bomb. Now, almost three years later, the house was finally sold. Happy memories were replaced with haunting ones. Flashbacks became nightmares in the middle of the night. Tears of sadness and hurt substituted the laughter. Walking down a hallway, I could almost hear voices from the past, but the hallowed sounds were not holy anymore, but curses. Instead of bringing me to my knees in humility with the blessing of a full family, I fell to my face begging for answers and eventually the deliverance from what was once a refuge which had turned into a place filled with heartache and anguish.

No matter how many ways I changed the furniture around, painted walls, took down old pictures/paintings and placed new ones in their places, the memories still played in my mind like a looping movie reel.

Now, we had a buyer and the sale went through. We held an epic garage sale. Whatever didn't sell, we donated to HAAM. The next weekend, we spent the time putting everything together for the packers. After the packers finished, we made the move to the apartment. Spencer stayed the night with some friends. We had just about finished trucking everything from our sold 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath 2800 square foot home to our 2 bedroom 2 bath 1200 square foot apartment.

Chandler and I drove the Jeep back to the house for a few extra things before we went to bed at the apartment. As we walked into the house, an eerie feeling came over me. I was brought back in time to the first time I had walked into the family room in 1999. I remembered feeling the new carpet, seeing the leaves rustle in the Magnolia through the cool autumn breeze in the backyard, and the smile on her face that this was the place. I must have stood in the middle of that room for 5 minutes before snapping back into reality.

I started to fill one of the boxes with a few things and ended up filling the Jeep with a number of our belongings. I opened the back door and realized that I had not seen Chandler since we arrived. I knew where he was. I could feel it. As I pushed open the door to what was once his room for the vast majority of his life, he sat in a lone chair against the wall next to the door. A tear fell down his left cheek and he wiped it away.

I hugged him. We talked about the numerous memories in his room. Endless nights of reading books in his bunk bed with the cool light bulb hanging over his top bunk. Nerf basketball matches so intense that his closet doors eventually had to come off. Sleepovers. Neighborhood kids playing kickball. The memories were many. We both struggled to find words. I gazed upon Chanlder's face and he mine. We both hugged and wept for a good 5 minutes. We had to leave this house. We both knew it. We both knew how hard it all of a sudden had become to do just that and yet we knew it was the right thing.

I asked Chandler if he wanted me to pray. He said yes. So, I took his hands into mine and prayed. I wept as I praised God for all of the good memories at this wonderful home that he had blessed us with for almost 13 years. I also thanked Him that He opened the door for a new place to build new memories and have a new beginning for the three of us.

We stood. We hugged again. We walked to the Jeep and slowly drove away down the street for the last time together away from his childhood home. It was over yet we both knew that God had acted so quickly to sell this house that there was no mistaking the fact that we were walking the right road and that the Lord was in the middle of everything. God brought a smile to my face as Chandler drove back with me to the apartment. I was proud of my 16 year old. He opened up and we had a very intimate father/son moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life. We shared stories. We wept. We prayed. We rejoiced. What else can a dad ask for?

My grace is sufficient you...One Day At A Time!

Kites and Wiffleball - What else can bring Joy on a blustery day?

Certain experiences are important in a growing boys life. Playing in sprinklers, riding bikes, getting dirty, climbing trees are just three. I think back to Tom and Huck fishing with a cane pole or my cousin Scott and I climbing my grandparent's trees especially the one in the front yard that we ascended all the way to the top one day and were both almost too frightened to come back down!

Kite flying. Yes, we don't see this much anymore. Little boys taking to the skies with their beloved kite to master the winds above them and tame that triangular shaped piece of flimsy plastic with quite the thin string. Spencer and I made our journey to the Bear Branch Elementary field where the wind swirled on this rare occasion in Kingwood. It doesn't happen often so we took advantage.

This B-1 Stealth Bomber shaped kite was about to make its debut in the skies over the Liveable Forest. I gave the string to Spinner and instructed him to run when tossed the "plane" up into the air. It didn't take much. Up it went. The wind howled. The sand flew behind the rocketing feet of my six year old as he giggled and bestowed his successful first flight. A gust of wind followed sending the bomber into a loop and tumbling to its initial crash into the turf. As we recovered our craft, up to the sky it went with another lift into the air. This time I was at the helm and the string was let out at a lightening pace. Almost like afterburners, it flapped violently way up in the sky almost out of sight it seemed. I gave Spencer the string holder to navigate. He held on tight as it darted back and forth in the blustery gales above the pine trees.

He laughed. I smiled. I took a couple of pictures and a quick video. Great memory. He had a blast. After about 30 minutes of piolting our flying $3.99 kite from the Easter Bunny, we went on to our next event, his soccer game at the Y.

Later that evening, Chandler has invited over a few of his friends, ten of them, for his belated 16th birthday get together. My highlight of the evening came when they strolled outside to the court facing our home. Following the National Anthem and the proverbial first pitch, Wiffleball was underway. I was transported to 10 years ago playing baseball with a much younger Chandler in that same court. I watched as these teenage boys played like they were 6, 8 or 10 years old again. They pitched, hit, ran, taunted, and were little boys again. I took some more pics and a quick video as well.

What can I say? I love being a dad. I truly enjoy watching my sons have fun and enjoy life, their friends, hearing them laugh, and making the most out of this chapter in our lives. It is a time I hope to never forget and when I get down, all I have to do is look at these pictures or watch these videos. God brings me back to place of joy.


My grace is sufficient for you...One Day At A Time!